We Thought Church Was Enough—Until We Learned the Truth About Faith at Home

“But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

- Joshua 24:15

For years, we thought we were doing everything right.
We were committed Christian parents.
We brought our kids to church every week.
We sent them to a Christian school.
We prayed before meals and read from a kids’ devotional—at least when we remembered.
We assumed that between church and school, they were getting what they needed spiritually.

But if we’re honest?
Faith conversations at home were rare.
We didn’t talk about how the Bible connected to everyday life.
We didn’t ask our kids what they were struggling with spiritually.
And we didn’t realize how much that mattered.

Then we started digging into the research.

Books like Sticky Faith, Handing Down the Faith, and Families and Faith opened our eyes. The message was consistent across all of them:
Parents—not pastors, teachers, or youth leaders—are the single most important influence on a child’s faith.

In Sticky Faith, Chap Clark explains that while youth ministry matters, it’s what happens at home that shapes long-term faith. Kids who continue walking with Jesus into adulthood almost always come from families where faith is talked about, lived out, and modeled consistently.

In Handing Down the Faith, the research shows that the everyday faith of a parent—especially the warm, relational kind—makes the deepest impact. Not perfect faith. Not theological expertise. Just authentic, consistent, relational faith in Christ.

And in Families and Faith, Vern Bengtson’s decades-long study found something surprising: faith transmission happens best through strong family bonds. If kids feel emotionally connected to their parents, they’re far more likely to embrace their faith.

We realized something had to change.

Especially once we started homeschooling, we knew we couldn’t just rely on others anymore. We had to become the primary disciplers of our kids.
And so—we began.

We got intentional.
We started creating simple routines that made space for faith.

We began doing family dinners with worship time—reading a devotion or Scripture passage, singing a hymn, and praying together.
We picked up more Bible story books, Bible commentaries, and faith-based books.
We started praying more together—not just at meals, but in everyday moments, for specific needs, and one-on-one with each child.

We introduced apologetics—a big word, but we just wanted our kids to know why they believe what they believe.
We started reading the Bible more as a family and walking through Bible stories together.
Derek began taking each of our kids on one-on-one “date nights”—intentional time to connect, talk, and pour into them spiritually.

We even started celebrating our baptism anniversaries—eating a special sweet treat, lighting a candle, praying a baptism prayer, singing a baptism hymn, and reminding them of who they are in Christ.

It didn’t happen overnight, and we’re still learning.
But today?
We’re closer to each other—and closer to God.

There’s more rhythm.
More connection.
More peace.

We still don’t have a perfect system (or perfect kids!), but we’ve learned that faith is best handed down around the dinner table, during bedtime snuggles, on early morning walks, and in the quiet moments that no one else sees.

If this resonates with you—if you’ve ever wondered how to be more intentional about passing on your faith—just know you’re not alone.

We’re still learning, too.

That’s part of why we created the Faithful Families Retreat—a space for families to slow down, reconnect, and get practical encouragement for building a Christ-centered home.

This fall, we’ll be hearing from Chap Clark, one of the leading voices behind the research that challenged and inspired us. If you’re looking for fresh ideas or simply want time to reflect and refocus as a family, we’d love for you to join us.

You can learn more about it here. 

We'd be honored to walk alongside you.