The Discipline of Gratitude: Building a Thankful Home

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

– 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

It was a regular Thursday night—nothing fancy. Dinner dishes were still scattered across the table, and one of our kids was getting seconds while another was trying to sneak dessert before we even prayed. It had been a long day for everyone, and honestly, gratitude wasn’t exactly the first thing on my mind.

But as we gathered for our Family Huddle, Derek asked, “Okay, everyone share one thing you’re thankful for today.”

The room went quiet for a moment. Then our youngest piped up, “I’m thankful for spaghetti!” Another said, “I’m thankful we finished our schoolwork early.” I smiled. Because even in the chaos, these simple moments remind me: gratitude is a discipline we practice, not a feeling that always comes naturally.

Gratitude in a Culture of “More”

The discipline of gratitude is often neglected in our modern lives. We live in a world of instant gratification and constant comparison - where it’s so easy to focus on what we don’t have instead of what God has already given us.

As Christians, though, we’re called to something different. Our lives should overflow with thanksgiving, not just because things are going well, but because of the incredible kindness God has shown us through Christ.

And if there’s one place this should be most visible, it’s in our homes. Gratitude shouldn’t just show up once a year around the Thanksgiving table. It should be the tone of our family life, the quiet undercurrent that shapes how we respond to both blessings and challenges.

In Good Times

When life feels peaceful, it’s easy to forget that every good thing comes from God. Sunshine, laughter around the dinner table, the smell of fresh bread, a child’s giggle—these small joys are daily gifts from our Father.

I remember one evening when we were talking about our budget as a family - something we try to do every so often to help our kids see how we make decisions with the resources God has given us. We wanted them to understand that everything we have belongs to God, and that part of being thankful is being generous with what He’s entrusted to us.

That conversation led us to be more intentional about setting aside money for giving and for our international family volunteer trips. It’s become one of the ways we remind ourselves—and our kids—that gratitude isn’t just something we feel; it’s something we live out. Thankfulness overflows into generosity when we remember that every good thing we have is a gift from God.

In Hard Times

Thanking God in the midst of trials and suffering often requires a different perspective than comes naturally to us. When hardship comes, it’s easy to assume that God must not care about our circumstances or even to wonder why He would allow such pain into our lives. But the truth is, God uses even our struggles to draw us closer to Himself. He is near to the brokenhearted.

When one of our daughters was four years old, she developed a terrible skin infection that spread quickly and became very serious. She grew so dehydrated that we ended up in the hospital for three days while she received IV antibiotics. I stayed there with her, watching monitors beep through the night and holding her little hand as she finally drifted off to sleep (after watching the movie Frozen countless times in a row). Those were some of the hardest days I can remember as a mom.

In those quiet hours, I prayed more than I had in a long time. And even though fear and exhaustion were heavy, I could still sense God’s presence. He showed His tender care in so many small but powerful ways—a kind nurse who spoke gentle words, a friend who texted a prayer right when I needed it, a Bible verse that reminded me He was still in control. God didn’t remove the trial right away, but He met us in the middle of it.

It can sometimes be hard to see the blessings in our trials, but we can trust that they are there. We may understand the reason for our suffering one day, but we may not. What we can know is that God is good and that He is worthy of our trust.

Walking through challenges with Christ is part of the Christian life, and as parents, it will be a part of our parenting journey if it hasn’t been already. Sharing stories of God’s faithfulness in hard times reminds our children that He can be trusted with their own trials, too. When they face difficulties, we can point them back to the same truth we’ve learned again and again: God is walking with them through it all.

In Our Home

When our kids were little, we wanted gratitude to become part of the rhythm of our days, not just something we talked about occasionally. Over time, we found a few simple ways to build that habit:

• Thankful Prayers: We include specific thanks in our daily prayers—during meals, bedtime, and family worship.

• Family Huddles: Most evenings, everyone shares one thing they’re thankful for. Sometimes it’s deep, sometimes it’s silly—but it keeps our hearts centered.

• Thank You Notes: Whenever we receive a gift or act of kindness, we write thank-you notes together. 

• Serving Together: On our international volunteer trips, our eyes are opened in powerful ways. Our kids notice the blessings of clean water, electricity, and air conditioning with a fresh sense of awe, and those moments always spark rich conversations about God’s provision.

These small practices help shape the culture of our home, one where gratitude becomes second nature.

A Legacy of Thankfulness

As Christian parents, we have the opportunity to build homes filled with humble, joyful thankfulness. Whether in seasons of abundance or times of struggle, gratitude anchors our hearts to the truth that God is good and that every gift—seen or unseen—comes from His hand.

When we live this out in front of our children, we give them more than good manners or a positive mindset—we give them a legacy of faith.

May we, like Paul urged the Colossians, continue to live our lives in Christ, “strengthened in the faith as [we] were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness” (Colossians 2:6–7).

Key Takeaways

• Every blessing—big or small—is a gift from God that should lead us to thankfulness.

• Even in trials, we can trust that God is working for His glory and our good.

• Consistent, intentional gratitude in your home builds a lasting culture of thankfulness your children will carry with them for life.